Lesson Learned, Don't Kiss plungers
by sonicsora
Summary: Out of the many things Leo has seen, he hardly thinks death is all that surprising. He after all has fought giant dinosaurs from outer space and gone to the future, how can hooded skeleton who speaks in caplocks be all that scary? A humor fic, some gore. Crossover with Discworld books.


He remembered his death, the blade easily finding a new scabbard in his belly. It protruding almost cartoonily in an odd way from him, he pulled it free, watching what had been protected once by his plastron escape. The foot solider it belonged to getting the sword ebbed into his own body. The man crumpling onto the rooftop with a groan.

The ninja barely even blinked as he processed what was going on, tilting his head almost curiously.

Everything felt so sluggish compared to earlier, the adrenaline that had been pumping through his veins made the world zip by, but now it ticked slowly past him. His organs puddled at his feet, he staring blankly at them as if confused by their presence. He remembered tumbling, the _squelch_ sound of his body landing in the mess. His cheek pressed into the cold concrete below, padding of feet rushing by him, the fight going on. The oldest turtle watching from his spot on the ground. Finding his brothers effortlessly in the fight. All were doing well so far. All did as they were told earlier on that day and did it perfectly.

He smiled at that. He felt rather pleased that they remembered it so well. If he could, he would have given them a day off of practice for doing so well and actually _listening_ for once!

As you can tell his thoughts weren't dramatic nor all that sad as he started to fade away, mostly he vaguely wondered how long it would take to wash the blood off along with the thought of curling up with Usagi tonight. The usual kind of things, what kind of tea he should have with dinner, practice, hardly anything weepy.

It was certainly a nice thought to end on. Though he didn't feel very dead just yet.

LEONARDO, I WAS NOT EXPECTING YOU THIS SOON.

"Things happen." Was the best the turtle surmised quietly watching the fight now at a sudden standing position next to death. He turning his glance towards the deity, not really scared. Though he would admit the skeleton was unnerving in some way, but hey it was a part of his job description in a way.

TRUE, VERY TRUE. ARE YOU READY?

"As I'll ever be." He answered with a shrug, moving with the deity quietly, only pausing to glance back at his brothers. "Are any of them joining me in any time soon?"

NO, IT IS JUST YOU FOR NOW LEONARDO. THEY WILL LIVE FOR LONG AS THEY CAN. THAT IS ALL I CAN TELL YOU. I HAVE RULES TO FOLLOW AS YOU DID YOURSELF.

"Good enough for me." He stated amiably. "We should get going, you're probably pretty busy."

Death had to appreciate in some small way that the turtle wasn't begging to live still nor whimpering, it was a nice change of pace to say the least. The reptile was taking it calmly and seemingly fine with what was happening. Most panicked at sight of a skeleton who spoke in caplocks. He usually had to pretend to barter with them or chase them around.

But than again, he was a giant ninja turtle, one who had fought dinosaurs from outer space so this had to be a normal day for him.

DID YOU REALLY FIGHT DINOSAURS FROM SPACE? Asked death curiously after a moment as he started to lead the ninja away from the fight. The small reptile keeping pace with him easily.

"Yeah, it was pretty strange. But hey, the robot ninjas and going the future were a lot weirder."

HMM, TRUE. BUT DINOSAURS FROM SPACE STILL IS BAFFLING. ONE WOULD THINK BIPEDAL DINOSAURS WOULD BE HARD TO COME BY.

"Not when you're in outer space. Only stranger is the fact they mimicked Rome. But hey, it was a new life lesson." Leonardo had to shrug again, smiling wryly at the thought, still having to wonder how giant triceratops from outer space could imitate the Romans so well.

ONE WHERE YOU LEARNED NOT TO KISS PLUNGERS I HOPE. You could almost hear amusement lingering in deaths crackly tone at that, he paid attention some of the time. Though it was hard to forget the ninja kissing the plunger.

"_Ugh_, I learned that lesson pretty fast. I don't think I need any reminders on that."

Death laughed at that, not paying much attention to the affects it had on the living. It stopping the warring ninjas factions in their tracks and sending shivers of apprehension down their spines. It lingering even as the two left the grungy blood spattered rooftop for a better place. Death having to mentally mark the ninja as one of his easier jobs. He doubted the other reptiles would be this relaxed when he came for them later on.


End file.
